Franciscan Sisters of Mary

Publications - e-newsletter

Responding in Nonviolent Ways

In our Declaration of Nonviolence, we state, "We value the sacredness of life and respect the dignity and freedom of each person." And also, "...support legislation and other advocacy efforts which provide protection, safety, financial assistance to survivors of domestic violence..." The first sentence is the foundation on which rests our call to nonviolence, and the second, one of the ways we respond. In the particular ministry in which I have been privileged to engage in, caregiver for the elderly in the home, I see many opportunities to respond in nonviolent ways.

I believe the word, "nonviolence" is a very broad term and when placed in reference to "respect" it leads us to caring and compassionate behavior toward others and all of creation. In helping those impaired in any way, physically, mentally, socially and psychologically and even spiritually, it can be very easy to fall into a way of acting that is disrespectful. In the interactions with another, in trying to care for, keep safe, provide for, I can think, "I know what's best" or " she's got to do this now". To force a person, not being tuned in to the freedom they have, is to do violence to that person. A lot of personal interaction is called for in order to give some either/or options to accomplish the intended outcome, i.e. getting someone to brush their teeth or to let you cut up the meat on their plate. They may already feel helpless and are frustrated, belligerent or angry about something like this. My commanding orders about this could only intensify their feeling of losing control. If I forget she or he is a person whom I respect, then I get frustrated and angry myself . Over the years I have found that I have been able to appreciate the physical, mental, social and psychological and spiritual abuse that can and does occur in the home setting. If I can, in some small way, not add to this and maybe even help family members or other caregivers to see how this is not right, I believe I am learning to live the Gospel life.

I think the times I want to react violently is when I see family members neglecting their parent(s) or forcing them to do something that is not lifegiving. There is not very much I can do in these circumstances. I have been surfing the internet, and find there is a lot of information and awareness building going on just in the last ten to fifteen years. June 15, 2007, is World Elder Abuse Day, serving "a call-to-action" for individuals, organizations and communities to raise awareness about elder abuse, neglect and exploitation". You can go to the International Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse, (www.inpea.net) and (www.karisable.com) for more information on this day. There are many other sites for data, fact sheets and other information on elder abuse i.e. (elderabusecenter.org).

I am most fortunate to be in the CSJ Care ministry of caregiving for over seven and one half years and to have been missioned to such a rewarding ministry by the Franciscan Sisters of Mary. I take this opportunity to say "thank you," for your prayerful and encouraging support for this in the past and in the future.

Sr. Mary Michelle Yates